Fallen
by HipsterRed
Summary: I'm not giving away any spoilers, but I hope you like it!
1. Chapter 1

**_"Dave!"_**

**_"Master, I thought you said this would be so much fu-"_**

**_"NO! Dave, don't leave! You have to be alive, you have something much more to live for. P-Please, don't leave me…"_**

Benson sobbed into his hands and he ran out without finishing the tournament. He was grabbing his keys to his car and he cried for a good few hours, he couldn't process the death of losing his best friend. His career was out the window now, his only friend was now dead from murder, and he felt like he had nothing left to live for. He wanted to just die because he felt so alone, he wanted to be with Dave instead of being alone on earth.

As he felt all of this raw emotion coursing threw his veins inside of his tiny metal body, he heard an alarm in his ears. He felt like he was slipping away, he was about to go to a different dimension. As he faded, he saw white and he opened his eyes. When he did, he realized that it was a work day. He didn't get why he kept having nightmares about Dave very night. Psychologists thought he had PTSD, but he never got himself evaluated because he thought that 'getting help' was pretty silly.

He stared to get ready for work because today he didn't want to focus on the night terror that constantly haunted him in his sleep. He was pretty confused why he kept having the same dream, but at the same time, he knew why. He just didn't want to face reality and to conquer his problems head on because he didn't want the others to know. If they knew, he felt like he would be shunned from the group, so he kept a lot of his emotions to himself, which didn't help either.

He didn't feel like he could trust anyone, not even at the Park. He was pretty suspicious of Skips, even though he was considered his friend. He didn't tell Pops anything because he was pretty much like an elementary schooler when it came down to sharing secrets. With Muscle Man and HFG, they were just a bunch of tools. With Mordecai and Rigby, it was a no brainer…. Well, he was pretty sure he could only trust one of them, but he highly doubted it, even though it was probably true.

He went to grab his keys for his car and when he did, the metal didn't feel cold to him because he was the same temperature in the inside. Sometimes, he wished that he could be an animal or a human instead of a gumball machine because if he was walking around, sometimes children would ask him for a gumball, but he would always refuse. People didn't realize it, but whenever he would say 'yes' to them, he would have to turn his crank and then the gears inside of him would twist his stomach. It just gave him goosebumps to even think about it because the pain was so intense.

He walked out the door and he went out the complex to get into his car. When he got in, he went to start the car, but it wouldn't budge. He kept trying again and again to get it to start. He started to feel his cheeks heat up and he took the key out. With his luck, he had to walk to work for the day. He didn't get why his luck was so bad, he would always try to be somewhat positive about things, but it would always fail. Sometimes, he wondered why he was even alive because he didn't know what his purpose was. He thought that he would always be a deadbeat park manager, but he didn't think it was too bad because he actually enjoyed his job. He just didn't enjoy having to constantly yell at a certain duo. He always threatened to fire them, but he never did because he didn't want to, even though Mr. Malleard probably wanted their employment terminated.

When he walked up to the house, he realized that he was late because everyone was asleep on the stairs. He checked his fanny pack to see if he had his blow horn and to his surprise, he didn't. He was mad at himself for forgetting something that he needed, again. He would always scold himself for thinking too much, instead of getting what was needed. So, he had to yell to get them to wake up and they did. The blue jay decided to speak up.

**_"Dude, what the heck?!"_**

"I came late, so we're behind on schedule…."

The raccoon spoke up after his friend.

_"Well, you didn't __**have**__ to yell!"_

_"Well, look at you! You tell me not to yell and __**you're**__ doing it yourself!"_

Mordecai punched his friend. After that, Rigby and Benson got into a yelling match because he didn't know how else to react. He just hated his life because he felt like a constant nuisance to everyone else around him. He felt hated because he was constantly considered to be he bad guy or annoying because he has to do his job. He always felt like fate would always set him up to fail and on the outside, he didn't show that it hurt, but in the inside, he kept wanting zin in his life. Eventually, Benson stopped himself from continuing to yell at Rigby. Instead, he just discarded what Mr. Malleard to assign them and he decided to do it himself.

_"You know what, guys? I'll giving you the day off because apparently the work is __**'too hard'**__ for all of you and you know what they say, if you want to do it right you should do it yourself. I get way too many complaints everyday….. So, go back to what you were doing, you can just do tomorrow….."_

Benson walked off to do the jobs and Mordecai could tell that he was stressed out of his mind. He felt bad for Benson and he wanted to help, but it seemed like everyone else thought he was just an annoying, cat obsessed freak. He didn't see him that way, he saw him as his boss, but he didn't think of his as a freak because he realized that he was a person too. After a few minutes he went off to find Benson, but before he could, the raccoon protested.

"Mordecai, what you doing? I thought we were going to play Strong Johns like we planned, remember?"

"I'm helping…."

"Why? Benson is just doing that to make you feel bad, sometimes he can be such a drama queen…."

"Hmmm, I guess you're right, but I just feel like I should because one person can't do all of that and paperwork in one day…."

"Benson's job must suck…."

"Dude, shut up!"

"Whatever, I'm playing Strong Johns alone…"

"Don't worry, dude, we'll play it later…"

Mordecai went off after Benson and Rigby went into the house, but he couldn't see him anywhere in sight. He saw tiny, round foot prints and he knew that those belonged to none other than Benson's tiny feet. That was another thing Benson hated about himself, he was tinier than almost everyone else at the Park, except for Rigby. It probably explained why Rigby would constantly start fights with him. He didn't want to be the bad guy, but he didn't want them getting away with slacking off either. He basically gave them 'tough love' because he wanted them to experience what it's actually like in the real world, but the duo never realized that.

Mordecai followed the foot prints and it lead to the tool shed. When he went in, he saw Benson grabbing supplies to do all of the jobs. He felt knots in his stomach when he saw him because it seemed like he was ignoring him, like he didn't even exist. He knew that Benson over reacted in certain situations or at certain things, so he decided to go along with it this time around. He went over to where he was, he took a deep breath, and he started to speak.

"Hey, Benson! Do you need some help?"

Benson turned to him and he nodded. Mordecai knew something was wrong, but he knew if he asked, Benson would flip out. He decided to anyway, he could take a risk.

"Well, you seemed pretty upset this morning, so is their something wrong?"

"No…."

Mordecai cocked an eyebrow and this meant that he knew their was, but he wasn't telling him. Benson finally gave in.

"Yes, I'm just fed up…"

"W-What do you mean?"

"I'm not going into detail, but with a lot….."

"Like what?"

"Just work related stuff, nothing too important….."

"Oh, we should get this done, but I'm glad you're ok….."

Mordecai knew there was something more, but he felt like Benson couldn't trust him, which was true. He knew why he would have hesitation and it twisted his stomach into knots to even think about it. What he didn't realize was that it was everything, not just work and his past.


	2. Chapter 2

Mordecai tried not to think about it too much because he wanted to just focus on the work that had to be done for the day, so Benson could get it done without the duo having any issues. The both of them grabbed all of the supplies needed from the shed and they went to the cart to put the supplies in. After that, they drove off and Mordecai was in the passengers seat. They were silent the entire ride to the fountain, Mordecai desperately wanted to say something, but he didn't dare to because he didn't want to upset Benson. It just killed him inside to see Benson so down in the dumps lately, it felt like a knife stabbed him in the chest every single time Benson was ever sad. They got out of the cart, they grabbed the hose, and they hooked it up to the fountain. Afterwords, Benson spoke up because he assumed that he would complain about the job of starting it.

"I'll start the horse, Mordecai….."

"No, it's ok, Benson… I can do it…."

"Hey, you can't order me around….. I'm the boss, not you….."

Mordecai sighed because he hated how stubborn he could be. Benson started up the hose and a few seconds after doing so, he was instantly grossed out. He hated the taste of the water and spit it out. It was unbearable because of the smell, it was putrid and unpleasant to his triangle nose. That was another insecurity he had because he hated when people pointed out how huge his nose was when it wasn't really that huge at all. He didn't get why he kept having insecurities about himself when he hadn't before. He was deep into thought and Mordecai noticed.

"Benson?"

"Huh?"

"You ok?"

"Uhhh, yeah…"

"Ok, I'm just making sure because you looked dazed out…"

"Oh, I wasn't…."

Mordecai squinted his eyes, but he just shrugged it off and went back to work. It took awhile, but with the both of them working together, they eventually got done with the task that was given to them. They put the supplies in the cart and they went to do the next job, to pull the weeds out of the garden. Both of them **_hated _**that job, but they knew that it had to be done. They eventually got to the garden and they got out all of the supplies needed. It was a little harder to do because it felt like sauna because of the scorching summer heat.

Before they could get to the garden, Benson stopped the cart for no apparent reason. This confused Mordecai and he just decided not to say anything about it. Then he noticed that he got he shades on and propped his feet up on the cart. They stayed parked in the same spot for 20 minutes straight and Bensons watch alarm started to ring. He knew that when that happened, their shift was over.

"Hey, our shift-"

"I know, Mordecai…"

Mordecai knew something was wrong and he finally had the courage to confront the problem. He was just sick of his boss playing these games with him, it was just irritating.

"What's your deal? You've been acting strange towards me….."

Benson felt his cheeks heat up, he hated when people wanted to know what was going on in his personal life because if they knew, they would make fun of him or they would stop being his friend. He just built up walls around himself because he was hurt so much in the past and he didn't want to hurt even more.

"Hey, it's not your business!"

"Well, it is if it concerns me!"

"Well, it **_doesn't_ **concern you!"

"Wow, I thought that you could trust me, but I guess I wrong, since you probably think that I'm too immature…."

"Mordecai, I **_can _**trust you, it's just-"

"Just what?"

"It's just that I-I…"

"B-Benson?"

The gumball machine turned away from the avian and Mordecai heard a loud, high-pitched cry that belonged to Benson. It broke Mordecai to see him that way, so he reached out his wings and Benson squeezed the blue jay, but he didn't care that he was making himself look like a child. He was just done with everything going on in his life. He needed someone, someone he could trust and even though the blue jay could sometimes be an absolute moron, he thought he was probably the best choice.

_"I-I just **need** help, Mordecai…"_

"W-What do you mean?"

"With just…. Everything….."

Mordecai started to feel uneasy because he thought of the worst possible situations. He let go and before he could do anything, Benson started to speak even though his voice was cracked.

"Just **_go_**…"

The blue jay realized that he wasn't in his right mind and he shook his head no. He wasn't about to let something bad happen to someone he truly cared about. Benson got more upset and he ran up to the house, he decided the best option was to leave the park temporarily for personal leave. He wanted to go because he didn't want to put an emotional strain on anyone around him any longer. Mordecai drove to the house to look for Benson, then he saw Benson walk out with his infamous red jacket on his metal body. Mordecai was about to speak, but the machine put up a hand to stop him.

"I'm leaving…."

Mordecai was confused at this point and he started to get even more uneasy than before.

"W-Why?"

"I'm done…"

He walked to his car and he drove back to his apartment. At this point, Mordecai was growing very concerned for his boss and his safety. He didn't want to make too big of a scene, but he couldn't believe that he quit his job either. It was unusual for Benson to do something like this and he felt obligated to get to the bottom of it.


	3. Chapter 3

Mordecai ran up the stairs and with a swift motion, he kicked the door down. He didn't care about using common sense at the time, he knew that this was an urgent situation that had to be dealt with. The raccoon's eyes grew big as he saw how big of a mess his friend looked and he quickly ran over to him.

"Dude, what's wrong?"

"It's Benson, he just quit his job!"

"What? Why?"

"I don't know!"

"Dude, cool it! He'll probably be back in a couple days!"

"You're probably right, I'm just pretty concerned about this situation though. I wonder what the motive was….."

"Well, we shouldn't worry about it now, but he'll come back!"

Mordecai realized that Rigby was right because it really wasn't his business, maybe he really didn't quit his job and he left on personal leave. Many possible situations clouded the blue jays mind and he just wanted all of the doubt to go away. He wanted to call the gumball machine, but he didn't want to annoy him either. Plus, Benson had to deal with this on his own terms, not by the blue jays.

Two weeks later….

The duo woke up and they started to get ready for work. After they ate breakfast, brushed their hair, and took a shower, they went downstairs and they saw Skips with a clipboard. He was now in charge of the Park and Benson had quit his job a couple weeks before. Skips went over the job assignments and after that, everyone got to work. The bird had a horrible feeling that Benson would never come back, he just wanted to break some of his walls. He didn't understand why he hated to open him self up to other people. The bird had his suspicions, but most of them didn't make sense.

"Hey Rigby?"

The raccoon turned to his friend and he threw the rake down onto the ground.

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to be gone for a while, could you tell Skips I'll be back if he asks you where I went?"

"Yeah, I can.."

"Thanks, du-"

"Wait, where ARE you going?"

Mordecai just rolled his eyes and he ignored his friends question. He went to the coffee shop and he abruptly sat down at a random table. Eileen was suspicious about his erratic behavior and she decided to go over to see what was wrong with the blue jay.

"Mordecai, you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm good…."

"Morde-"

"Ok, you want to know the truth? Benson disappeared a couple of weeks ago and he hasn't shown up for work ever since….."

"Wow, that's strange…. Benson is always at work, I don't get why he would just leave…"

"I don't get it either, I just want to know if he's ok or why he left after we had that conversation…."

"Wait!"

"What is it, Eileen?"

"I think I might know why he left…"

"Why?"

"Because of you…."

"M-Me?"

"Yeah…."

"But, I don't even know what I did wrong, I just asked if he was ok and… Oh, I have to go!"

"Morde-"

There was a door slam and the mole put her face into her hands as he stood outside. Mordecai knew that he had to get into contact with him. He dialed his number, but all he got was a voicemail. He ran to the apartment building and he tried to get to his apartment as fast as his legs could carry him. He wondered if his wings would help, so he jumped and he tried to hover off the ground. He did for a few seconds, but then, his wings started to give out. When he tried to land, he heard a loud crack and he passed out.

When the blue jay woke up, his ears were ringing loudly and he started to gain back his vision. He tried to see what was around him and it was clear that he was at the hospital from the injury. The doctor came into the hospital room and he ordered the nurses to start examining him head to toe. The doctor shook his head in disapproval and he took a deep breath.

"Son, you got pretty beat up back there….. I'm very sorry to inform you, but you have a broken wing and you can't use it for 3 to 6 weeks…"

"T-That's it?"

"Yep….."

"Thank you, doctor….."

The doctor nodded his head and the gang went out of the room. The doctor was still in the room and Mordecai saw another bed next to him. His vision was still blurred, but he could see the doctor.

"Doctor?"

The doctor turned to Mordecai and he put down his clipboard.

"Hmmm?"

"Who's that?"

"Oh, some guy had a psychotic break and now, he's in the hospital for evaluation…."

Mordecai shrugged his shoulders and he went to sleep. When Mordecai woke up, he wondered who the person was. He turned to his right and his eyes got huge when he realized who it was.


	4. Chapter 4

Mordecai instantly felt fear and uncontrollable guilt course through his veins. He felt so many things at once and he rushed to his side right away. He didn't know what to do, he just felt numb inside and out.

_"I should've kept my mouth shut…"_

He didn't want to blame himself for what happened, but he couldn't help it. He hoped that he would've been ok, but then he was in the hospital for a psychiatric evaluation. He went over to the red gumball machine and he waited for him to wake up.

Once he woke up, Benson saw a blue figure in front of him and he couldn't tell who he thought it was. He rubbed his eyes and he finally released that it was Mordecai, his stomach sank. He had mixed feelings because one part of him wanted to scream at Mordecai to get out and another part of him wanted to dissolve into sobs.

He wasn't sure what to do and when he thought things couldn't get worse, Mordecai reached for his cell phone. Benson's eyes got wide and he snatched the cell phone from the blue jay.

"Dude, what are you doing?"

"Were you about to call the guys?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I-I…"

"You?"

Benson sighed at the blue jay and he knew that he had to confess.

"I-I tried to- um…"

"Suicide?"

"Y-Yeah…."

The blue jay felt sick to his stomach because he wasn't sure how to feel. He was irritated at Benson for keeping this side of him a secret and another part of him just wanted to help Benson feel better.

"I'll be blunt, Mordecai… I've had depression for the majority of my years, 12 years of age to be exact… 7th grade was extremely traumatic for me and things at home were getting worse….. When I was old enough to leave the house, I was in a band and when I got kicked out, I was heartbroken…. I tried to move on by making friends in college and I only knew him for a few mouths, but it didn't matter to me because his death hit me very hard….. When I came to the Park 10 years before, I was hoping that this could be a fresh start and I hoped that I could finally move on with my life. When I meet all of you, I felt like the odd one out and thats why I put up walls. I felt like I couldn't trust anyone, not even Pops and Skips… When you two slackers came, you rocked my world and I saw you both as a threat because I thought you were after my job… When everyone started to like the both of you over me, I realized something…. I realized that I'm not needed and that night, I questioned why I was even here if I'm unnecessary-"

"Ben-"

Benson's face started to heat up from rage and he continued to speak.

"I work at a dead end job, I have no friends, I'm annoying, I get rejected all the time, everyone at the Park or sorry….. **_Everyone _**hates me! When you tried to see why I was acting so 'off' a couple weeks ago, it was because I got fed up with everything and I just wanted to give up….."

Mordecai didn't know how to respond to this because he wasn't used to seeing Benson open up like this, especially to him out of all people. Benson turned his head away from the blue jay so he could see his face and he wiped his tears away. Mordecai grabbed Bensons head and he turned it toward him.

"Benson, I don't think you're unnecessary…. You **_are_ **necessary and you **_do _**have a purpose in life…"

Benson felt overwhelmed by Mordecai's words because no one at the Park, or anyone for that matter, had ever been this understanding of him. He felt flattered because he wasn't used to this type of treatment and he admitted to himself that he enjoyed it. He finally dipped his head and he went limp because he felt like everything he thought might've been incorrect. Everything was unraveling in front of him and all of it just crashed down on him. He hated feeling like this, but he did at the same time?

Mordecai realized what was happening and he brought Benson to his chest for a close embrace. Benson tensed up at first because he wasn't used to physical contact, but he finally gave in and he eventually got used to it. He unravelled in front of Mordecai in a fit of sobs and he buried his glass head into Mordecai's fluffy chest. Mordecai rubbed Benson's back and he tried to soothe him like he was a child.

"I-I'm sorry for trying to-"

"Shhh, it's fine… I'm happy that you're here to get help and your safe now which is the only thing that matters…."

Benson felt Mordecai's grip get tighter and he eventually felt better. It took several minutes for his sobbing to turn into quiet sniffles, but once that happened, Mordecai let go and Benson felt different from usual. He felt calmer, but he still felt emotionally drained from what just went on.


	5. Chapter 5

"A-Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine… Thanks, uh, you can let go now…"

Mordecai wasn't sure of what the gumball machine was talking about, but then he realized that he was still holding him. He let go and Benson fell on the floor. He helped him up with his good wing and they both started to blush.

They both got ready for bed and they went back to sleep. A few hours into Mordecai's slumber, he felt his phone vibrate from under him and he answered the phone.

"H-Hello?"

"Mordecai, where are you dude?"

Mordecai brightened up when he heard Rigby's voice.

"I'm at the hospital and-"

"What?! What happened?!"

"I was looking for Benson and-"

"Let me guess? You tried to fly?"

Mordecai blushed and at this point of the conversation, he was glad that they were only on the phone.

"Y-Yeah….."

The raccoon contained the urge to laugh at his friend and he continued to speak.

"So, where and when could I visit you?"

"Maybe tomorrow? I don't know…."

"What? Why not now?"

"Well, it's hard to explain…. It's confidential…."

"Did you find Benson?"

"Technically…."

"How?"

"At the hospital…"

"Wait, whys he even there?"

"I already told you that it's confidential! Look, I can't talk about it right now… Could you just come when you have the chance?"

"Sure, anything for my bro!"

"Thanks dude! Talk to you soon!"

He hung up the phone and he turned to see if Benson was still asleep. Thankfully he was, but after what had occurred today, it made Mordecai gain a new perspective.

Sure, Benson could get on the blue jays nerves and he could get on his, but he still appreciated his presence. He didn't know why, but he cared about him more than he would ever know and it bothered the blue jay because he wanted him to recognize it.

The next morning, he woke up and he got out of bed. He went over to see if Benson was awake, but he was gone and it made the blue jays stomach twist into knots.

He decided to find the doctor to see if he knew where he was. As he was about to leave the room, he saw a door open and he realized that Benson finished a shower.

He sighed of relief and he stopped himself from asking where he was because he didn't want to annoy his former boss. He wondered why he left that day and if he had done anything wrong.

"H-Hey Benson…"

"Do you have something on your mind, Mordecai?"

"Yeah…"

Benson threw his towel into the hamper and after he settled himself under the warm blankets, he signaled the blue jay over. Mordecai hesitated at first, but he came over and sat down.

"So, whats on your mind?"

"Oh right! Well, I was thinking about the conversation we had yesterday and I was wondering if I did something wrong?"

Benson was stumped by the blue jays question.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, you left the Park after we tried to work together and I was wondering if I had anything to do with it or if I did something wrong?"

"It wasn't you, Mordecai and I'm sorry if I made you feel like it was…."

"Then what was it?"

"Well, it's a long story and it's complicated to explain…."

"I don't mind…."

"Well, ok… The day before I left, I called everyone to the front of the house so I could assign the jobs for the day and no one really seemed to care about the Park. Do you want to know why I snapped at all of you? It was because I felt like I was the only one that _did _care…."

"I didn't realize this, Benson…"

"So anyway, I had time to go into my office to sort my thoughts out and I eventually got a phone call from Mr. Malleard while I proceeded to try to fill in my quota for the day. He was screaming at me because of the lack of passion from all of us and he threatened to take away my job. I then realized that I don't have to be screamed at and I don't have to be surrounded by insubordinates. After I filled in the quota, I went to get lunch from downstairs and I saw the both of you slacking off. I asked if you did your jobs for the day and Rigby gave me an attitude. I don't really have to explain myself because you know the rest, right?"

"Yeah, I do…."

"So, I went home and I had a relapse, it was the worst I've ever experienced… When I went to work the next day, which was the day I left the Park, I thought of quitting my job because of the way it was affecting my mental health. When you were questioning me, I finally got fed up and I quit….."

"So what happened after you left the Park?"

"That's another story…"


End file.
